I know I haven't posted in awhile. It's been crazy around my house between me working extra hours, my Mom's birthday on the first and MJC's birthday on the 4th, (he's friggin' 17!!! where did the time go?) and trying to make arrangements for people to come lay new floors for me upstairs, and fix the stove, and keep up with the yard, and MJC's homeschooling. Geez! It's hard to find time to post; much easier to let someone else pick the topic and then just comment on it. :) I have a whole new respect for all you bloggers who do it on a regular basis!
Anyway, did anyone else read Time magazine's cover story on Mother Teresa? I know it's not uncommon, in fact it's probably very common, for believers to struggle with issues of faith, but to read about her struggle with it was extremely interesting. It wasn't just a struggle she had for a few months, but for years, something she took with her to confession even, and yet even though she had this emptiness and darkness inside of her, she still managed to accomplish amazing things for the poor and not let go of the original vision God had given her.
Here's an example of what she said in her own words. I'm never sure how to cite stuff, so suffice it to say, I'm quoting what she said as found in the Sept. 3 issue of Time magazine.
"Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love--and now become as the most hated one -- the one--You have thrown away as unwanted--unloved. I call, I cling, I want--and there is no One to answer--no One on Whom I can cling--no, No One.---Alone...Where is my Faith--even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness--My God--how painful is this unknown pain--I have no Faith--I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart--& make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them--because of the blasphemy--If there be God--please forgive me--When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven--there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul.--I am told God loves me--and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?"
Strange words, it would seem, from someone up for sainthood. She found a way to deal with this problem, by accepting, even embracing, this dark side of her and found a lesson in it. For those of you reading who have had doubts, how did you get through it and to the other side?
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9 comments:
My doubt has increased in the last ten years. It comes and goes.
I have a few things that I cling too. I don't have all the answers, but I know that there is something special about the Bible. It is very unique. The fact that it was written by so many over so many years in so many places, yet it has so many common threads ...
There is something to is. There is a Creator. I don't have all the answers and I have plenty of doubts that fly through my mind, but I can deny that there is something supernatural about this book.
Funny, even in my extreme doubting, I find myself talking to God ... about my doubts that there might be a God! ha!
And I keep moving forward. Sometimes my kids are the ones to help me simplify my faith and move forward. Other times it's scripture. Sometimes it's through song.
It's such a journey.
Another book recomendation: "Splendor of God"
a biography of Adoniram Judson the first "Baptist" Missionary to Burma in 1812. This biography by Honore Wilsie Morrow is a full and balanced story of a man's struggle with doubt and faith. Careful of other biographies about Judson (especially the one by his second wife), they are ladened with agendas.
Hi Christine, thanks for stopping by. Hope you'll come by here often.
When I have doubts, which is more often than I like, or when I have questions, which is a daily thing, I try to remember to take them to God. I figure He's probably heard the questions I have before and will know how to deal with it, although, I wish I could get my answers a little quicker sometimes!
Yes, drolobojo, I think I would have to be a little leery of a biography written by an ex-wife! Ha! But I will look for that other book. I haven't done this much reading since I was working on my liberal arts degree. I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoy it.
Seeker,on Mother T and her doubts, Hitchens has written a piece in the current Newsweek:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20497111/site/newsweek/
I noticed that you have been reading his book, "God Is Not Great". What do you think about his positions?
Oh yes, and I should have emtnioned that Hitchins did write a book about Mother Teresa: "The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice."
The boy does have a way with words does he not.
I've never doubted God existed. Even during the times that I wished He wasn't, I always knew I couldn't hide from Him. It's nice we have the Bible but it is not the be all and end all of Christianity. It wasn't even a book until the 4th century. All the early Christians had were traditions handed down from the Apostles and their designated successors and a few divinely inspired letters passed around from community to community.
Just as an aside. I wouldn't consider reading any book by an author who spoke of a person like Mother Teresa so disrespectfully.
ra said:"I've never doubted God existed. Even during the times that I wished He wasn't, I always knew I couldn't hide from Him."
Karl Jung said it another way. Engraved on his tombstone is the Latin Phrase:
"Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit" meaning "Bidden or not bidden, God is present."
awsomethoughtno?
I'm having trouble reading Hitchens' books. I can only read a little of him at a time. He spends more time ridiculing and honing his sarcasm and spewing his own biases than he does in actual, sensible debate. I can listen to another point of view when it's presented in a more rational way but he just pisses me off with his irrational conclusions on subjects he knows so little about. Most of his arguments are very tired and none of it is original. He repeats things as though he came up with them and he has very little new to offer and a lot less depth than the people who orginally did come up with the arguement. And, to top it off, those arguements have been ably defended by smarter, deeper thinkers already. At least so far..I haven't read the whole book. Frankly, it seems to just be a propaganda piece to give vindication to those who want an excuse not to believe and are too lazy to check his facts or look at the counter arguments and inflame those who don't agree with him. I don't like that pitiful alcoholic at all, but I'll pray for him. :)
I knew he didn't think much of Mother Teresa (surprise!) but I haven't read that book and doubt that I will. I find it highly unlikely he would be capable of writing a reliable and trustworthy account of her life.
Hitchin is what Hitchin is, which is to say a very cynical man. Much of what he says in the book factually is true. But his cause and effect are a tad overstated, and of course the book is not balanced. As is evidence in much of our media today, the lies are compose generally of half truths, not of out and out fabrications. (OK, there are some of those too.)
No book about God or Gods can be "balance" perfectly.
I look forward to your comments on the book.
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